Please Note: These One-liners are all original. I have no problem others using them but please attach my name to them. Sharpen's One-liners--Wit and Wisdom A man is 'over the hill' when he reaches the top and finds nothing on the other side. A man is older when his mother says he's just like his Dad. Finding a good man or woman is like finding the gold at the end of a rainbow. If you find it, something serious has happened. Men are often like grass, green. Men are like grass. The more they smoke it, the lesser their instincts become in determining how green they are. Green Piece: a male virgin. Men are like grass. As young blades they are interesting. As older men they become full of weeds. Men are like grass. Green on the outside and a sap in the middle. If all the world is a stage, where are the REAL people? In 'A Mid-summer Night's Dream', where does Bottom sit? If the meek inherit the Earth, where will the others go? If we think brave thoughts, what will happen to the cowards in us? The shortest distance between two points would be a crankly path. How many men have wondered? How many men have won... Every hammer is looking for a nail, flesh or otherwise. A one-liner is two trains heading towards each other on the same track. If a man loses track, is he off the rails? Where there's a Will, there's a Codicil. Plenty of men are New Age but what age? Beauty is in the flame of the candle. Paradox: A medical parachute team. T.V.: Totally Vague. If...Then...What Else? Save our Poor Plastic Trees:  S.A.P.P.E.D. Politicians are a poor reward for taking the time to vote. WARNING! This politician could ruin your life. Don't encourage politicians! They breed as well! Let Excitement win! She is second to none. There are six senses: Tasting Hearing Smelling Seeing Touching Adventuring When all is said and done, then do we move forward. The universe is crinkly. Thank goodness for age; it tells us when we are. Fear is in us all. It is that part of our nature that makes us go forward. Fear drives us. It's the Volkswagen we don't want. Rights are not inherent in the universe. They are given and thus can and are, taken away. If we were all born equal, we would probably not be where we are today. We are today, what dictators were yesterday. Wisdom is born of age and I am but a youthful traveller. Wisdom is earned. It cannot be purchased over the counter. We do not grow old, only older. Death is where we leave ourselves to be the feelings in others. Violence is fear dressed in human form. A clear conscience is not being controlled by others. People who cannot control themselves feel the need to control others. Needing to control others means having great fear of ourselves. Control is the sickest form of human behaviour. Men are rarely like animals in their behaviour. Would that they were. There are times when we should take stock of ourselves; then have a Sale. Look to yourself. He is their, salvation. A bra is a bosom companion. A bosom companion often lies within a bra. Sharing is a gift we can all give, freely. If life is a pot pourri; where is my sense of smell? Don't put yourself down. Up, is the ladder of success. Suicide is not painless. For you, maybe. For others, no. I wrote a poem once. I don't know why. It didn't rhyme. I don't know the reason; but I wrote it anyway. I once went on a blind date. Then I fell over my white stick. Poetry is singing in words. Shame about mine; I'm tone deaf. I just put myself down. Life is like a story. In the end, its the beginning that creates the middle. Be thankful for your lot; some-one has to be. Life is like a rainbow. The closer you get, the further away it goes. Egg-flip is the Devil's Advokaat. All I want for Christmas is any teeth. Start with any number...no, not that one! A man is a permanent child. Most women understand this. Few know how to handle it. Words are, at best, inadequate. Do fishermen live in the reel world? Men don't understand women because women don't want them to. Life is often like reading a book in bed when you are tired.  You get nowhere because you keep reading the same paragraph over and over. Dreams make sense when dreaming. Rarely otherwise. I hear that Bill Gates never counts sheep to get to sleep, he counts windows. He can now get to 98 before he falls asleep. Then discovers he can only XP. I used to write in B.A.S.I.C. Now I can write more better. Life is but a mouse-click away. Heap love and you shall receive love. Reap hate and you will die. You are never too old to be hugged. Age is in the mind; it's to be reaped not to forgo. Time is action. Living in the present is the key to our personal future. A goal is the present between the past and the future. Call: Rock! and you will head for it. Call: Goal! and it's yours. A parent speaks. A child listens. The adult is the consequence. I refuse to become part of this sad world; it reeks of havoc. I prefer the earth; it's heaven. If speed kills; don't take drugs. Dawdling on roads is Dangerous. I'd rather give a hand-up; than a hand-out. Be yourself; others will be like you and try to be like you. Smile and the earth smiles with you. Cry and the earth feels with you. The World doesn't; it only pretends to do so. The earth does: it doesn't have to pretend. The earth is the place upon which you live. The World is the place you don't want to be. Laugh! It might be your last laugh. Cry! It might be your last tear. Emotions are not feelings. Love is a feeling. Hate is an emotion. News is only news when it is positive. Thus there is rarely any news. There is no justice. Justice is not dispensed; it is dispensed with; in favour of lawyers, judges and law-makers. Life is living through ourselves, not through others' fake lives. If you are sad, laugh. If you are happy, cry. The earth listens to all and responds appropriately. The World doesn't listen. Most television is a sad reflection of the nobility of human beings. Radio may be a source of entertainment; until it is corrupted by the advertisers. Once there was personal imagination, now it's left to others' to imagine for us. Sad. Sad. To kill or not to kill; that is the question. What's the answer? All controllers are bullies. Pity the bullies. They do not like themselves. He who has the last laugh is very lonely. Pity the politicians; they know not what they do. Then pity the rest of us. $6.50. I'm making a financial statement here. If bread is money; why can't I make a crust? If herbs are the spice of life; where's my thyme gone? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder a blind person gives you a better deal. Worry is a bit of a worry. A life half full is also half empty. Small is big. PLEASE READ the small print. Excuses, excuses. Please excuse the excuse. I was, therefore I think I am. The quality of mercy is not strained; vegetables are. "Make my day!"  (Attrib: Clint Eastwood) Sharpen: Please put 25 hours into it. "I'll be back!" (Terminator)  It's lunch-time. "I don't want no trouble!" (Robocop) My arm hurts. Penny wise; pound rich. It's a sober thought when you have a hangover. An Englishman's Dilemma: A dry towel and having to make it wet. (So they say). Sexist: I'm a man. Sexist: I'm a woman. Sexist: I'm neither. Sexist: I'm both. Sexist: Who cares? A small change; that's a butterfly's effect. A large change; that's the butterfly's effect. People make the rules; controllers make the laws that break them. Rules are made for co-operation. Laws are about control. Rules are made by people for peaceful co-existence. Laws are made to make money by controllers. Being able to change is living. Being unable to change is death. Fun is for the living. News is for the dead already. If News is the most important thing in your life Consider living, instead. Mosy television is a death of the spirit, the imagination, and our personal welfare. Turn the damned thing off! Newspapers tell you nothing but the negative even if there are some truths. Don't buy them. Live a positive life. If  I wake up, I am alive. As long as I am alive, all is correct with the world. Living through others' lives is our own death as an individual. Let 'Soap Operas' alone. They are not our lives. They are manufactured to make us unhappy and swell the coffers of their originators. If you have no control over your own person and let others' take over, you only have yourself to blame. Flag-waving, anthems, nationalism/patriotism, is the cause of war. It diassembles the individual from his task in working with a community.     If you get involved, that is your choice and your also your personal freedom gone. If you don't want to live your own life, O.K. but don't blame anyone else or get them involved. YOU make your choices. YOU reap the benefits of those choices so long as you are positive and play by the rules.  Play against the rules and you have also chosen the consequences of those rules and your punishment. Being remembered, is immortality. More to come...

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