WHAT'S APPROPRIATE? _____________________________________ Collins English Dictionary (1974) defines: Appropriate adj. Suitable, fitting    You may question, suitable for what; fitting for what.    The word 'appropriate' is very important in our daily lives. Its importance lies in how people behave towards themselves and others (this includes all fauna and flora).    How people behave towards others is determined by a number of factors: 1.  How people act towards others: this may be in fact or fiction. In other words, acting towards another entity may be as close as possible to the nature of the person without particular thought, or a deliberate act of presentation with a specific intention in mind. 2.  How people appear to others: this is the way that one presents themselves, including dress, make-up, visual adornments and so on. 3.  How people react with others: again, this may be a fact or fiction, depending on what reaction one wants.    In a sense, they may all be the same.. Communication    To be able to exist, we need to communicate with others, (which we need to do to survive, like it or not). We must be able to be ourselves as we want to be but respect (because of their opinions) the entitlement that others wish to be themselves also.    It's pretty simple.    If we act in a way that causes concern to others, (that is, they are not comfortable with us in some way) then we are acting inappropriately, like it or not. That is, unless we are determined to be totally negative.    We may feel that we are correctly behaving (because we may be self-centred) but other people may find that they are not comfortable with that. We therefore need to learn to modify our reaction/s with them, therefore making both ourselves and them, feel comfortable. This is a learning process. If we are not able to do this, then we have a problem that usually might  have to be solved by some-one else. Hopefully, this will be a guidance, which is what learning should be about (in my view).    Simply, appropriate behaviour is reacting with the environment in a way that everything within that environment can be itself without the control of others.    Inappropriate behaviour may be equated with trying to take control of others to suit a personal goal and this is not sound if you want to remain an individual and survive in any sort of society (which you may or not like). Conformity    Conformity is having others control our lives to the extent that we do what we are told or we conform because we want to or it may be painful not to (in some way).    Appropriate behaviour is not necessarily conformity.    It may be, only because we are acting appropriately and so are others; a sort of conformity bred from all acting appropriately; a sort of general consensus which may not be conscious. Why we need to be aware of appropriate behaviour?    We need to be aware of appropriate behaviour in all sorts of ways and most circumstances. What is 'right' or 'correct' in one situation may not be 'right' or 'correct' in others. Again, this is part of the learning process and it is a question of asking other people (whatever age you or they are). By asking other people (anything!) we can then weigh up (for ourselves) the consequences of each of our actions and try to act appropriately (for us or them).    If granny doesn't like how we dress and we want to get on with granny (maybe because she gives us things our parents don't), then we dress to please. (Supply and demand, or even demand and supply). That is to say, if we want or need something, we need to act appropriately. It may not be how we want to be (or act) but if we want it badly enough, we need to act appropriately. If we don't want to act in a particular way because we feel we want to be independent, we have a problem. Acting appropriately, is, then, our decision. Independence    Independence is the way we feel we should be. We are our own person. No-one should tell us what to do. Great! I agree. I have my own Declaration to that effect.    However, this has nothing to do with survival, in a sense.     We can be independent of others. We can be own person (however we conceive that to be). We can be independent in a crowd or on our own (if we so wish). But to survive in the world, we need to act in an appropriate manner when we deal with others who do not have the same ideas.    This does not mean that we give up our independence. It means that we are conscious of how we am acting for our own independence. In other words, by 'conforming' we am not conforming! This is because we are conscious of the way we are acting, therefore we are independent.    Further, it does not mean that we am 'sucking up' to others. It merely means that we are conscious of our behaviour. Conscious is the key word. Rebellion    Rebellion is the way by which most people try to get away from the control on their lives by others. Like independence, it is a rather warped perception. It is also another view of independence.    Rebellion consists of going against what is seen as 'normal'. It is an act of independence.    As an example, take body jewellery. The act of adorning the body is as ancient as Man/Woman. It was and is, an act of making ourselves 'different' (or even the same) from others, depending on the culture.    To be adorned by body jewellery (including piercing, tattooing, wearing rings, bracelets, necklaces, clothes and so on) is, apparently (since most of us like it or need it or want it), pretty 'normal'.    We all want to be different.    However, we know we are nearly all the same. We seem to be based on a presumably set design (according to a tradition). We have two legs, arms and so forth and various bits that distinguish us from being male or female.     We have been brainwashed into believing that others, without the same body parts or parts that may not function in the same way as ours, are 'different'.    This also goes for the 'mind'. Not so, I am afraid. Summing Up     Acting 'appropriately' is our decision as a person, an independent entity.    Acting 'appropriately' depends on whether we feel the need to control others (and why we need to control them). Is it for our own selfish ends?    Acting 'appropriately'  means making life happier for everyone and every so-called 'thing'  (including the flowers and trees and cockroaches, slugs, sharks and so on) without compromising our independence.    Acting 'appropriately'  means making our own lives happier because we care about ourselves and hopefully others.    Acting 'appropriately'  means doing to others what you would like to be done to yourself.

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